PaternityAngel Forum

PaternityAngel Forum http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx This is an XML content feed of; PaternityAngel Forum : Last 10 Posts Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:55:07 +0000 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 22:55:41 +0000 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Web Wiz Forums 8.05 30 www.paternityangel.info/forumx/RSS_topic_feed.asp PaternityAngel Forum http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/..\images\PaternityAngel.jpg http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx General : please please HELP!!! http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=358&PID=1763#1763 Author: carl2010
Subject: please please HELP!!!
Posted: 2010-Mar-01 at 22:55

hi my name is carl i am 23 years old my partner and i used to be really close always lovey dovey. these days it seams i have to ask just to have a cuddle? my partner is 9 nearly 10 weeks pregnat is this normal?

i have been cheated on before so feel insecure about all this any advice please

thanks alot Carl

]]> Mon, 01 Mar 2010 22:55:41 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=358&PID=1763#1763 General : expecting father needs some advice http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=357&PID=1762#1762 Author: Planet
Subject: expecting father needs some advice
Posted: 2010-Feb-10 at 12:49

Hi all,

I just found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. We have been together since high school (almost 20 years) and are currently living together. We were not trying to have a child, and our relationship has somewhat run its course. However, with this news, I would like to do everything I can to help her through this and to make it a joyful experience rather than adding to the anxiety of it all. What are guys expected to do? Or better yet, what should/can I do to help out at this point? I was thinking that I'm going to try to make it to all of her appointments, but I don't want to smother her at the same time. Any advice will be much appreciated. Thanks!

]]> Wed, 10 Feb 2010 12:49:50 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=357&PID=1762#1762 Paternity Issues : Difficult X http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=354&PID=1761#1761 Author: snyper86
Subject: Difficult X
Posted: 2010-Feb-08 at 02:42

Hi

I think that you're right to feel the way you do, but you also ought to check with your daughter as to how she feels as well as it does involve her too, regardless of whether the guy has any actual claim or not.
]]> Mon, 08 Feb 2010 02:42:15 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=354&PID=1761#1761 Men's Chat Room : HELP! I am about to crack http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=356&PID=1760#1760 Author: Jimbo
Subject: HELP! I am about to crack
Posted: 2010-Feb-04 at 09:57

Hi Guys - I need some feedback please. My girlfriend is pregnant. Completely unexpected and definitely a surprise. I am scarred sh*tless. We love each other very much but have a "volatile" relationship. She is very stubborn (as am I) but she is also an only child (I come from a family of four kids). She seems to think everything should go her way and if she doesn't like what I am saying, she simply switches off.

When we found out she was pregnant - I asked her if she was ready for this (I am still unsure on whether I am ready for it). She has just started her career, we are not settled etc. At the time she said that she didn't care about her career - having a baby was more important to her.

3 months in and she turns around and has decided (without discussing it with me) that she is going to take 6 months off and then go back to full time work. I was very upset for a number of reasons:

1) It wasn't about us and our family - it was just about what she wanted.

2) She has down a complete 180 on what she said going into this

3) She is working for purely selfish reasons - I make enough to support both of us, we will not be ANY better off financially (childcare will wipe out what she makes)

4) MOST importantly - I think the baby suffers. I already work big hours.... So that my family does not have to get short changed. I don't believe in a baby growing up spending more time with strangers than its family (if it is not necessary).

When I tried to explain this she just got really mad and said that she wouldn't talk about it. My concern is that she struggles to keep up with daily stuff even now without a baby. She gets home late, exhausted etc. With the added variable of a baby I just don’t see how it can work. Our house is not tidy enough for a baby environment.

I am scared that the baby and I are going to get the short straws. Instead of getting home after a long day (I work more than average hours) and being able to enjoy time with my partner and baby, I am going to have to help prepare dinner, help with the housework, and then try and find time to spend with the baby.

She says she will not be a stay at home mum, doing my cleaning and cooking (typical feminist) and I am not asking that. I want her to work part time, but this means she want be able to do what she wants ("PR is a FULL time job").

Am I out of line here? I get that she has career goals.... and it shouldn't be just about money- But I struggle to see how everyone else loses out massively just so that she gets to do the impossible. I can see stress and tension mounting to an explosion point.... I am also really angry because I asked her about this right at the beginning. I wanted to end this and wait until we were both more ready, in terms of having a more settled relationship and also further advanced in where we wanted to be in life.

Thoughts / Feedback / Advice - PLEASE!]]> Thu, 04 Feb 2010 09:57:25 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=356&PID=1760#1760 Men's Chat Room : Girlfriend Prgnant and so horrible, help! http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=355&PID=1759#1759 Author: Jimbo
Subject: Girlfriend Prgnant and so horrible, help!
Posted: 2010-Feb-04 at 09:55

Hi Dazguy.

I feel for you man. I am having similar issues, not with sex but general moodiness and hormonal reactions. I wish I had the answer (then my problems wold be solved). But I guess my rational and best thought out answer is as follows (whether it works in practice is another thing).

You guys need to communicate. Agreed she is hormonal, but you are also going through alot too. but you guys need to communicate.... If you can't do this between the two of you because emotions dominate the scene, then go and see someone.... That is what my partner and I are going to do. A counseller. Yes it will cost, but from the sounds of it things are turning from bad to worse..... paying a counseller os a small price to pay if you look at the potential long term pay off.... Or from another angle, the potential cost is you don't work things out.

Biting your tongue will only work for so long, and by then the tension will have grown so big that you risk exploding and saying a whole bunch of stuff you might not mean to.

Thats my thought anyways...

Good luck

]]> Thu, 04 Feb 2010 09:55:13 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=355&PID=1759#1759 General : Too eager for pregnancy to end. http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=349&PID=1758#1758 Author: BL Tween
Subject: Too eager for pregnancy to end.
Posted: 2010-Jan-29 at 20:19

Both! Its ok to be excited. A new baby is a wonderful thing. Women are probably more emotional during pregnancy than any other time. They do need extra TLC. Make sure she knows you love her and don’t give up! As she gains weight she might feel less attractive. Her hormones will run rapid at times. Be patient, give her time, love her and enjoy each other, you will get through this. The little one will need a lot of your attention after it arrives. Don’t for get to spend time together just man and woman. It is important for both of you. Happy parents - happy baby. BL Tween

]]> Fri, 29 Jan 2010 20:19:28 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=349&PID=1758#1758 Men's Chat Room : Girlfriend Prgnant and so horrible, help! http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=355&PID=1757#1757 Author: dazguy
Subject: Girlfriend Prgnant and so horrible, help!
Posted: 2010-Jan-21 at 10:50

Me and my girlfriend are at 31 weeks, 9 left. the last month has been horrible. she won't kiss me, cuddle me or have sex with me. i ask why an shes not on the mood. we have been arguing bout this for a whilst. last time we had sex she had to go hospital the next day as she started bleeding a little bit but came home after 3 days all ok. a week later i want sex an she says no, so i go out for a few hours to come back to her pleasing herself. to which we have another row. she says its me being insecure an constantly smoothering her. before she was pregnant and most of the pregnancy we were so close and loving. she says she loves me an wants me more than anything to which i reply it don't feel like it. we both work full time an i get in to her on sofa waiting for me to come in an do dinner an housework. which i have no issue with as trying to help as much as i can to take pressure off her. when i talk to her bout stuff she gets moody an arsy.

is it me? how long do i keep biting my tongue an have to feel this way?

help!!!

]]> Thu, 21 Jan 2010 10:50:23 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=355&PID=1757#1757 Paternity Issues : Difficult X http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=354&PID=1756#1756 Author: Parental Contro
Subject: Difficult X
Posted: 2010-Jan-01 at 22:18

I need some advice on how to best handle this situation.

I am a 40 year old women, happily married for the last 15 years, with (5) children. My oldest daughter just turned 18, and she is not the biological daughter of my husband. He adopted her when she was three. We started dating when she was 1 and a half.

I was engaged in college to my high school boyfriend, due to continuous cheating, we broke-up. About a month after we broke-up, I was the victim of date rape with someone in my study group. About 2 months later, I found out that I was pregnant.

Once the word got out that I was pregnant, my ex-fiancee assumed that he was the father. We did not have any contact. The guy from my study group, offered me money to abort the baby. I tried to abort it, but was unable to do it. So, I decided to have the baby on my own. When the baby was born, my family contacted my ex-fiancee, who still lived in my home town. He visited me after the baby and I left the hospital, but I never told him that it was his child, and I did not put his name on the birth certificate. after I graduated from college, I moved away with my daughter.

A few weeks ago, I received a very disturbing phone call from my ex-fiancee. He was convinced that my daughter was his child, and he was insisting on meeting her. I explained to him that he was not her father, not to mention that she was legally adopted by my husband over 15 years ago, and her natural father ( the study group guy) had terminated his parental rights to allow the adoption. He had never been told about the rape, and assumed that I was lying. He is still insisting on disturbing our family life and demanding a paternity test. I am very upset. I have not seen or talked to this guy in over 15 years. He has never given me one dime or attempted to contact me. I have seen his parents a few times when I went home, but I usually visited with all my children, as they have known me since I was 5 years old.

Am I wrong for refusing to give him a paternity test? I am not afraid of the results, I'm just insulted that he would demand something from me after 18 years. Help!!

]]> Fri, 01 Jan 2010 22:18:40 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=354&PID=1756#1756 Pregnancy Loss : Multiple Miscarriage Around 7 Weeks?? http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=352&PID=1755#1755 Author: BABYY
Subject: Multiple Miscarriage Around 7 Weeks??
Posted: 2009-Nov-17 at 16:11

I am 33 years old and I have no children. After years of trying to conceive with my ex-husband of 8 years, I went through tons of fertility tests to find out nothing seemed to be wrong with me. I had two miscarriages and then a pregnancy that the doctor's terminated at the beginning of the 2nd trimester because the heartbeat was decreasing rapidly and they said they was no chance of the baby surviving outside of the womb for more than a few hours if I would carry to full term. Years went by and I found out it was my ex that was the problem. Low sperm count. Since then, I met a wonderful man who already has a child, so we are pretty darn sure he is ok, but since we have started trying to conceive, I have went through two more miscarriages in less than 6 months! Both ended around the 7 1/2 to 8 week mark. Right around the time I find out I'm pregnant, everything seems fine and then both times we decided to have sex and I bled lightly a few hours after, which we thought was just from the sex, but then I miscarried both times the day after we had sex. Could the sex we had have caused the miscarriages? The doctors cannot find anything wrong with my blood tests, my hormones or the condition of my cervix besides a little bit of scarring from the pregnancy that was aborted by the doctor's, but they do not believe that do be enough to cause a miscarriage. A couple of my friends had similar issues and they were diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder, so after I miscarried the 2nd time, I started taking baby aspirin on a daily basis as a blood thinner, but that obviously didn't help! Even after I started bleeding, the doctor examined me and my cervix was closed. Has anyone else experienced problems like me and went on to have a successful pregnancy? I want to get pregnant again and I obviously don't have that much difficulty getting pregnant...it's staying pregnant that's the problem! If anyone has any information that may help me, please feel free to share! My biological clock is ticking and I really want to get pregnant and stay pregnant!]]> Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:11:11 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=352&PID=1755#1755 Paternity Issues : Worried Father. http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=351&PID=1754#1754 Author: InsertName
Subject: Worried Father.
Posted: 2009-Oct-12 at 18:02

Hi,

This is my first post so please be nice...

Basically, my partner of 6yrs and I split around 6 months ago, the relationship was failing and us not being together was the best thing to do.

We have two beautiful children, a 4yr old boy and a girl just over 1yr.

Without going into too much detail, she had cheated numerous times and as a result, she was the party to leave... However, I did allow her to remain in my home until she found a home of her own... Upto August when I found out something else... when I had no other option but to ask her to move out and live with her mum.

I have residence with my children and she visits as and when she can, which to be honest has been getting less and less.

My reason for posting here is basically, what I found out in August was that she slept with another man, couldnt remember using protection and it was VERY close to the date my daughter was conceived.

My family are demanding a DNA test and I also cannot shake the thought she may not be my BIOLOGICAL daughter.

I love her with every breath in my body, but I understand that this is something that we need to find out, not only for us parents but for her benefit in the future.

My worry is, if this test comes back and states that she is not my daughter, what would happen...

I am named father on the birth certificates for both my children, but obviously a DNA saying different blows that open.

Would I lose all parental responsibility for my daughter? and all parental rights?

]]> Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:02:40 +0000 http://www.paternityangel.info/forumx/forum_posts.asp?TID=351&PID=1754#1754